Whoa! Whoa! Stop! Cut the music! Hang on-I’m not ready for Christmas music just yet. Are you guys ready for Christmas music? Now don’t get me wrong I love Christmas. I usually start my Christmas shopping early; say in January so that I can enjoy the excitement of the season w/out fighting the crowds at the mall. However, this year I haven’t even started my shopping yet & Thanksgiving is next week. So we can’t start celebrating the Christmas season just yet. You see, I’m focusing on Thanksgiving because I’m nowhere near ready for Christmas. And I’ve been thinking about how this little holiday is stuck between the fun of Halloween & the super-mega excitement of Christmas. Poor Thanksgiving often gets overlooked, bypassed as we hurry to prepare for Christmas. If it weren’t for turkey dinners & pumpkin pie we might just skip Thanksgiving all together. But Thanksgiving is an important holiday & so I am going to talk about Thanksgiving tonight. I’m sure most of you know the reason we celebrate Thanksgiving has to do w/the Pilgrims & Indians & the first meal they shared together. Well, good because that’s not what I’m going to talk about. I’m going to share w/you a different way of looking at Thanksgiving.
One of the reasons I don’t have any Christmas shopping done is because I broke my leg three weeks ago. I was bummed that I didn’t have a great story to explain how I broke my leg. I didn’t break it while skateboarding with my kids or snow skiing in Colorado or anything exciting. No, I broke it in my front yard. I slipped on some wet leaves and fell. My right leg twisted underneath me & I sat on it. What a plain, boring story. However, that’s not the whole story. It turns out my fall was the result of a bad choice I made. God has convinced me that I need to share the whole story of what happened that night. I am hesitant to share this w/you because I come out looking bad in this story & nobody likes to share a story where they look bad. But here goes-the truth, the whole truth & nothing but the truth. First, let me tell you that I am a very stubborn, independent perfectionist. (I’ll pause long enough for my husband & children to say AMEN to that!) I like things to be done a certain way, my way. And I expect things to be done on my timeline. I have high standards. Okay, having said that let’s get back to my story. Sunday night at our house is trash night & for some reason trash duty is a big dramatic ordeal. My pre-teen daughters are responsible for this chore, which is probably part of the reason it is such a dramatic ordeal. Well this particular Sunday my daughter was rather sloppy with her trash duty. She had missed some of the trash and some of the trash bags hadn’t been tied shut before she took them out to the curb. Feeling frustrated I went into my “should have done it myself” mode. I know that I have high standards that are hard to reach so I have this theory that if I want it done right I have to do it myself. But I know that is not a healthy attitude so I have been working on that, for at least ten years now. So I am frustrated w/my daughter & frustrated w/myself and now I have to go out in the pouring rain to take out the rest of the trash & take care of the open trash bags. A temper tantrum begins to emerge out of the frustration. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I am really good at throwing a temper tantrum. So as a way of expressing my frustration I stomp to the front door and slam it behind me. I am stomping across the yard too full of anger & rage to notice the wet leaves underfoot until my left foot slides forward & I lose my balance. Suddenly I find myself twisted on the wet, muddy ground in great pain. So that’s the truth of what happened, my fall was the result of my choice to stomp off angry. And now I get to wear this ugly, heavy boot for at least 4 weeks. And God is using this broken leg & this ugly boot to teach me some important lessons. Some of which I am going to share w/you tonight.
The 1st lesson he taught me is that life is not about “ME”! Three things that can destroy a person are anger, pride & unforgiveness. 2 of those 3 things led me to break my leg. If I hadn’t been so full of self-pride then I wouldn’t have been angry w/my daughter & felt the need to take care of the trash myself & then I wouldn’t have stomped across the yard. Instead of focusing on myself I should have focused on teaching my daughter in a patient & loving manner. But I was more concerned w/getting the job done quickly & correctly. How many times do we think we can do it all by ourself w/out any help from anyone? And of course we can do it better than anyone else. You see this attitude is wrapped up in the idea that it’s all about me & focuses on self but that’s not what God wants us to focus on. I am learning the hard way that I can’t do it alone. I can’t drive myself to the store, I can’t carry the laundry downstairs to the washer, I can’t do a lot of things I usually do. I don’t like this. I am a self-sufficient person. But this broken leg has reduced me to a person dependent on others. I have had to rely on others to get my son to school, to take my daughter to viola lessons, to drive me to the grocery store, and so on. There are so many things that have been taken out of my control. And that is the big issue for me-control. I want to be able to control things & right now I have control over very little. God is teaching me that I am not in control of everything & I don’t need to be in control of everything. I need to trust that God is in control. I need to have faith that God knows what is best for me & will take care of me. God has tried to teach me this lesson many times, with many methods. But remember, I said I am stubborn & I don’t want to give up that control. So God found a way that would make it nearly impossible for me to ignore the fact that I must allow Him to be in control. I am reminded of that fact every time I look at this ugly boot.
I am also learning that there are 3 things in life that are very valuable: Love, family & friends, & kindness. My children & husband could be angry at me for my temper tantrum; they could say I got what I deserved. They could refuse to help me & just watch me suffer. But they love me, even the stubborn, independent, perfectionist part of me. And that love won’t let them just watch me suffer & refuse to help me. My family & friends have shown love by going above & beyond to help me out the last couple weeks. My kids & husband have taken on extra chores around the house w/out grumbling & complaining. My mother has played chauffer & taken me to the bank, the store, the doctor. My church family brought meals to our home. I have really struggled w/accepting this help. I don’t want to be dependent on others but right now I don’t have a choice. So I found myself grumbling while accepting this help. And God said to me “How can you be so ungrateful when these people are showing you love? The least (and as it turns out the only) thing you can do is be grateful for their kindness. You should be thankful.” Here’s another lesson I am learning while suffering from this broken leg: God calls us to be thankful. I need to be a grateful recipient of help. Instead of grumbling & accepting help begrudgingly I should be rejoicing for the help & thanking the person that is helping me. You see God did not create us to be independent but a part of a community. And that community focuses on love, family & friends & kindness instead of self.
Which brings me back to this ugly boot. At first I hated this boot; I hated it w/a passion. It’s ugly. It cost me $150, I’ve never spent that on a pair of shoes, let alone 1 boot! It weighs a ton & it pulls on my back & hip. There are a lot of reasons to hate this boot. I was complaining about my boot and how I can’t wait to be rid of it when my mother reminded me that this boot is better than a plaster cast. That made me stop & think about the reasons I could be thankful for the boot. I can take the boot off to shower & sleep. I can take it off if my foot becomes sweaty or itchy. This boot makes it possible for me to walk. This boot is protecting my leg while the bone heals. It turns out there are a lot of reasons to love this boot! I am thankful for this boot & suddenly it doesn’t seem so ugly or so heavy.
Did you know that the word “thanksgiving” appears in the Bible 30 times? I think there is some significance to that. That means there is a reference to thanksgiving for each day of the month. I know, some months have 31 days, so those months you get one day to be ungrateful. But the other days you are called to be grateful & give thanks. That means we are to be appreciative, content, grateful, satisfied even pleased, no matter the situation we find ourselves in. According to the Bible our thanksgiving should be specific & is most meaningful when it is voluntary. The book of Philippians is full of Paul’s thanksgiving even though he is in prison. He says things like “I thank my God every time I remember you.” “I know what it is to be in need, & I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
The book of Psalms mentions “thanksgiving” the most. Psalm 116 tells us that our thanksgiving should be an offering to God. Psalm 95 says “Let us come before the Lord with thanksgiving.” And Psalm 100 encourages us to “Enter his gates w/thanksgiving and his courts w/praise; give thanks to him & praise his name.
I Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” We may not like our circumstances. I didn’t like this ugly boot, but I found one thing I could be grateful for & suddenly the boot didn’t seem so bad. I still have to wear the boot & it is still ugly & it still weighs a ton, but it’s really not so bad. When we give thanks in all circumstances our circumstances might not change but our attitude changes & that changes our perspective & as it turns out it’s really not as bad as we originally thought it was. I’m sure you would rather be somewhere else tonight. I doubt this is how you would choose to spend your Wednesday night if you could be somewhere else, doing something other than sitting here listening to me preach on thanksgiving. But the fact is you are here. You can choose to focus on the negatives or you can be thankful to be inside a dry, warm & safe building. You can be thankful for a good meal & a cot to sleep on. I challenge you to say a prayer of thanksgiving for just those small things & see if it doesn’t make a difference in your attitude. Let’s pause for just a second for each of us to say a word of THANKS.
In just a few minutes you are going to dinner. I don’t know what they are serving for dinner, but chances are I won’t like it. I am a very picky eater & I don’t eat vegetables (I tease my pastor & tell him that they are against my religion.) But God’s word challenges me to accept the food they are serving w/joy & thanksgiving, even if it is vegetables. There are volunteers & staff members that have worked hard to prepare that meal. You have the opportunity to thank those people for their hard work & for the food they have prepared for you. The 2nd challenge I have for you is to express thanks to someone here tonight, whether it is the person who prepared your meal, or the person that serves your meal, or the person who led our music tonight, or the person who was working at the front desk.
But I must warn you, once you start giving thanks it becomes a contagious habit, one that I hope I will never break.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
If You're Going To Walk On Water, You Have To Get Out Of The Boat
I love water. It could be a small bubbling creek, a peaceful lake, a rushing river or the swell s of the ocean. And I love boating. My boating experience includes a paddleboat, a rubber raft, a canoe, a pontoon, a ski boat & a cruise liner. And I loved all of these experiences. Tonight I want to tell you a story about a recent boating adventure I had. I was riding along in my boat on the river of life and all was well. I was enjoying the boat & the quiet stillness of the water. It was a picture perfect boat ride. But how many times have we seen perfect boat rides go wrong? There was the Titanic that was supposed to be unsinkable, the Steamboat Arabia & the three hour tour on the SS Minnow. (Cue the theme song for Gilligan’s Island) All of the sudden, out of nowhere, a terrible storm was upon me & my boat. I found my boat being tossed in the waves; I saw bright flashes of lightening & heard roaring thunder. I was scared. This storm had appeared so quickly, without warning. But I know what to do when I am facing such a storm, I pray. I ask God to protect me, I ask God to calm the storm, & I ask God to send me help. A friend calls my cell phone & asks if I’m okay. I tell my friend I don’t have time to socialize. I’m so scared & caught up in the storm that I don’t even think of allowing my friend to help me. My husband comes by in a bigger boat & offers to help, but I decline his help because I have faith that God is going to help me. My pastor comes along in a helicopter & offers to assist me, but I’m stubborn & I refuse his help. I’m sure God is going to protect me & if he isn’t going to calm the storm then I’m sure he is going to save me! Fear takes over me & I begin to doubt God. The storm is getting worse, the waves are crashing over the top of the boat & I just spotted a hole in the bottom of the boat. I am feeling desperate. I cry out to God. “Where are you? Why don’t you calm this storm? How long will this storm last? Why did you allow my boat to get a hole? Are you really going to let my boat sink? Are you going to let me drown? Why aren’t you helping me? Where are you God?”
I hear God whisper, “My poor child, you are not listening, you are not paying attention. I sent 3 different people to help you, any of them could have saved you, but you refused their help. How long will you try to do things on your own? “
Oh! Uh-oh!!
“Okay, Lord. I’m sorry. I will listen. I will do what you ask. Send help & I will go with them. I promise I will obey.” You won’t believe what God told me to do next. He told me to get out of the boat. (Cue music from Jaws) “What? I must not have heard you right. Are you crazy? At least the boat offers some safety. If I turn the boat over I can still cling to the top of the boat. But step out of the boat? I don’t know how deep the water is & look at how big the waves are. And don’t forget the lightening. And you want me to get out of this boat?”
I am bewildered. Why does God want me to get out of the boat? I think about the Titanic. Remember how the people clung to the boat as it sunk into the ocean. The boat sucked those people under & they drown. I don’t want to go down with this sinking boat. God is telling me to get out of the boat before it sinks. My chances are better out on the water.
I try to stand up & get out of the boat. But something is weighing me down, pinning me to the bottom of the boat. I look down at my life vest. It appears that is the something that is keeping me down. The life vest is so heavy I can’t stand up. God tells me take off the vest. Doubt is there again, clouding my thinking, making me question what God is telling me. But I promised God I would obey. So I begin unfastening the life vest. Suddenly I see that it is really not a life preserver after all, it is a giant weight called fear. My resolution for this year was not to live my life in fear. I have been studying what the Bible says about fear. Verses that I have memorized come to mind: Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear for I am with you” & 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Because I know God is with me & he loves me & I love him I am able to strip off the fear. Now I can get out of the boat. I am able to stand up but I can’t get out of the boat. What is holding me in the boat? I’m not afraid. So what is this tied to my foot? Without the deception that fear brings I can see an anchor that I wasn’t able to see before. The anchor is labeled worth. I will have to examine this anchor a little more closely before I can figure out how to untie it & leave it behind. This is something I really struggle with in life. I have been taught that worth comes from formal education, a good upbringing, holding a respectable job, being a loyal wife, raising obedient children. In other words, you must work hard to deserve worthiness. I think that if I step out of the boat, then I have nothing & if I have nothing then I am nothing. And if I have nothing what will others think of me? But God asks me, “Am I not enough, am I not everything?”
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me
God says I am worthy because He created me & He loves me. I am God’ child & I am complete in Christ. I have been established, anointed & sealed by God. He has made me worthy & I don’t need to look for acceptance elsewhere. I don’t need a title, or a specific job, or a distinguished family, or a big house, or a Nobel Peace Prize, I need God. And that is what I will find out there on the water.
I put words to the deception of self-worth. I will never be good enough or tough or anything that really matters on my own. My worth comes from God & I will keep declaring that until I truly believe it w/all of my heart & mind. As I am reaffirming who I am in Christ & the worth that he gives me I see the anchor is shrinking. I am now able to remove the anchor from my feet & throw it overboard. I watch as the anchor sinks to the bottom. I am filled w/such a sense of freedom & love.
You have probably figured out that my story is not about a real boat ride. That is just a metaphor that I am using. We all have boats & we all have anchors that keep us in the boat. For me, the boat was a church. And the anchor was a job w/a title. A job that I loved, a job that I feel called to do. God told me it was time to get out of that boat, but I didn’t’ want to let go of that anchor. My pride and my need to feel worthy convince me to hold tight to that anchor. The thing is that I had asked God to release me from that boat & He was doing just that, but I wasn’t willing to obey Him. I struggled with giving up that anchor & the sense of security that it gave me.
We all have boats that we are riding in that God doesn’t want us in. We all have anchors that we cling to that will drag us to the bottom if we don’t release them. What is your boat? What anchors are keeping you in the boat? I’m going to give you a few minutes to write down what your anchor is. While you listen to this song, think about how heavy that anchor is, think about how it keeps you from doing the things God wants you to do, think about how it could drag you down, and then think about what it would be like to release that anchor & watch it sink to the bottom of the ocean floor.
So, now I am out here walking on the water. I don’t know where I am going; maybe I’m not going anywhere in particular. Maybe the point of this exercise is for me to just enjoy being out here on the water, walking w/Jesus. It reminds me of when I took my lifeguard certification test at the age of 15. The hardest part for me wasn’t having to swim a mile in a certain amount of time or having to rescue a dummy from the bottom of the pool and drag it out & perform CPR, the hardest part for me was having to tread water for 20 minutes. We weren’t allowed to swim laps. We simply had to tread water and stay in one place, very hard for me to do. I want to go somewhere when I swim, even if it is just to the other side of the pool. I mean, who wants to swim in place? That’s a lot like walking on a treadmill. What’s the point? When you’ve finished walking a mile, you are still in the same place. I am a task oriented person, I need a beginning and an end & I need to get something accomplished. If I am walking, I want to go somewhere; a treadmill doesn’t offer that, neither does treading water. I feel like that is where I am w/this walking on water experience. I am walking but I’m not going anywhere. So I am trying to concentrate on Jesus & what is going on while we are walking. I don’t think this experience is about the destination, it is about the adventure itself. You’ve heard the saying “1/2 the fun is getting there.” I’ve never understood that phrase but I’m trying to. I am at peace out here walking on the water. I feel very close to God.
Let me share a time with you when I got out of the boat & walked on water. Zac’s story. Mark & I had been parents for 2 ½ years & we decided (with much prodding from me) that we were ready to adopt another child. Mark agreed as long as we could adopt a boy & we wanted a baby this time. We talked to DFS & had them place us on the adoption waiting list. We knew that it could be a long wait, especially since we were asking for a baby boy. At the very same time that we were having our names added to the waiting list, a baby boy named Zakaria was born in Oklahoma City. His parents were very young, very immature, unemployed & homeless. The mother had not received prenatal care & had not taken very good care of herself or her unborn baby. She had also used various drugs during the pregnancy. This baby entered the world under dire circumstances. He had to be resuscitated at birth & put on a respirator. A priest was called in on 4 occasions to pray for the baby, but this little boy was a fighter. He began to grow stronger & was able to come off of the respirator. The doctors ran batteries of tests & could find nothing wrong with the baby. The nurses & doctors tried to arrange assistance for the parents, someone to help them find housing & jobs & money for food & baby necessities. But the parents refused the help. And at the end of the week the hospital had no choice but to release the baby to the parents. For 2 months the parents struggled with jobs, money, physical & emotional abuse, taking care of a newborn. The mother ran from her husband & ended up in a shelter for abused women in Independence, Missouri. The baby was taken from her & placed in protective custody due to neglect. One July afternoon, I received a call from DFS asking me to take in a 2 ½ month old baby boy who needed a foster home. I explained to the caseworker that I would have to call my husband & discuss it w/him & then one of us would get back w/her. I remember calling Mark at work & telling him the news. I was excited, scared, anxious & uncertain. The only thing we knew for sure was that this 2 month old baby boy needed a home immediately. We didn’t know the background on this baby. We didn’t know why he was being placed in a foster home. We didn’t know much. The caseworker had made it sound like the baby would probably be returned to his mother’s custody w/in 10 days but nothing would be decided until the court hearing on that 10th day. And we knew we had to make a decision quickly. If we weren’t going to take the baby then the caseworker needed to continue making calls until she found someone that would take the baby. Mark & I prayed & felt God wanted us to give this baby a home, our home. So, Mark called the caseworker & told her that we would be foster parents for the baby. He also told her that when the time came for the baby to be adopted we were to be at the top of the list for the adoption. The caseworker was taken aback by that comment. She explained to my husband that this was temporary custody & that the baby would probably go back to the mother in 10 days. Mark said he understood what she was saying but he felt God had different plans for that baby. The next day, the caseworker brought Zac to our home & he has been a part of our family ever since. Over the next year there were several court hearings and lots of paperwork but we were finally able to adopt Zacharia & make him an official part of our family. We learned a lot about the parents & Zac’s rough beginning over the course of that year. Today, I look at this healthy & happy boy & I am so thankful that Mark & I were able to step out of that boat & walk on water that day in July of 2002 & agree to take Zac into our home. We didn’t let the anchors of fear or uncertainties keep us in the boat.
If you’re going to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat. And I have to tell you the water is fine, so step out of the boat & come on in!
I hear God whisper, “My poor child, you are not listening, you are not paying attention. I sent 3 different people to help you, any of them could have saved you, but you refused their help. How long will you try to do things on your own? “
Oh! Uh-oh!!
“Okay, Lord. I’m sorry. I will listen. I will do what you ask. Send help & I will go with them. I promise I will obey.” You won’t believe what God told me to do next. He told me to get out of the boat. (Cue music from Jaws) “What? I must not have heard you right. Are you crazy? At least the boat offers some safety. If I turn the boat over I can still cling to the top of the boat. But step out of the boat? I don’t know how deep the water is & look at how big the waves are. And don’t forget the lightening. And you want me to get out of this boat?”
I am bewildered. Why does God want me to get out of the boat? I think about the Titanic. Remember how the people clung to the boat as it sunk into the ocean. The boat sucked those people under & they drown. I don’t want to go down with this sinking boat. God is telling me to get out of the boat before it sinks. My chances are better out on the water.
I try to stand up & get out of the boat. But something is weighing me down, pinning me to the bottom of the boat. I look down at my life vest. It appears that is the something that is keeping me down. The life vest is so heavy I can’t stand up. God tells me take off the vest. Doubt is there again, clouding my thinking, making me question what God is telling me. But I promised God I would obey. So I begin unfastening the life vest. Suddenly I see that it is really not a life preserver after all, it is a giant weight called fear. My resolution for this year was not to live my life in fear. I have been studying what the Bible says about fear. Verses that I have memorized come to mind: Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear for I am with you” & 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Because I know God is with me & he loves me & I love him I am able to strip off the fear. Now I can get out of the boat. I am able to stand up but I can’t get out of the boat. What is holding me in the boat? I’m not afraid. So what is this tied to my foot? Without the deception that fear brings I can see an anchor that I wasn’t able to see before. The anchor is labeled worth. I will have to examine this anchor a little more closely before I can figure out how to untie it & leave it behind. This is something I really struggle with in life. I have been taught that worth comes from formal education, a good upbringing, holding a respectable job, being a loyal wife, raising obedient children. In other words, you must work hard to deserve worthiness. I think that if I step out of the boat, then I have nothing & if I have nothing then I am nothing. And if I have nothing what will others think of me? But God asks me, “Am I not enough, am I not everything?”
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me
God says I am worthy because He created me & He loves me. I am God’ child & I am complete in Christ. I have been established, anointed & sealed by God. He has made me worthy & I don’t need to look for acceptance elsewhere. I don’t need a title, or a specific job, or a distinguished family, or a big house, or a Nobel Peace Prize, I need God. And that is what I will find out there on the water.
I put words to the deception of self-worth. I will never be good enough or tough or anything that really matters on my own. My worth comes from God & I will keep declaring that until I truly believe it w/all of my heart & mind. As I am reaffirming who I am in Christ & the worth that he gives me I see the anchor is shrinking. I am now able to remove the anchor from my feet & throw it overboard. I watch as the anchor sinks to the bottom. I am filled w/such a sense of freedom & love.
You have probably figured out that my story is not about a real boat ride. That is just a metaphor that I am using. We all have boats & we all have anchors that keep us in the boat. For me, the boat was a church. And the anchor was a job w/a title. A job that I loved, a job that I feel called to do. God told me it was time to get out of that boat, but I didn’t’ want to let go of that anchor. My pride and my need to feel worthy convince me to hold tight to that anchor. The thing is that I had asked God to release me from that boat & He was doing just that, but I wasn’t willing to obey Him. I struggled with giving up that anchor & the sense of security that it gave me.
We all have boats that we are riding in that God doesn’t want us in. We all have anchors that we cling to that will drag us to the bottom if we don’t release them. What is your boat? What anchors are keeping you in the boat? I’m going to give you a few minutes to write down what your anchor is. While you listen to this song, think about how heavy that anchor is, think about how it keeps you from doing the things God wants you to do, think about how it could drag you down, and then think about what it would be like to release that anchor & watch it sink to the bottom of the ocean floor.
So, now I am out here walking on the water. I don’t know where I am going; maybe I’m not going anywhere in particular. Maybe the point of this exercise is for me to just enjoy being out here on the water, walking w/Jesus. It reminds me of when I took my lifeguard certification test at the age of 15. The hardest part for me wasn’t having to swim a mile in a certain amount of time or having to rescue a dummy from the bottom of the pool and drag it out & perform CPR, the hardest part for me was having to tread water for 20 minutes. We weren’t allowed to swim laps. We simply had to tread water and stay in one place, very hard for me to do. I want to go somewhere when I swim, even if it is just to the other side of the pool. I mean, who wants to swim in place? That’s a lot like walking on a treadmill. What’s the point? When you’ve finished walking a mile, you are still in the same place. I am a task oriented person, I need a beginning and an end & I need to get something accomplished. If I am walking, I want to go somewhere; a treadmill doesn’t offer that, neither does treading water. I feel like that is where I am w/this walking on water experience. I am walking but I’m not going anywhere. So I am trying to concentrate on Jesus & what is going on while we are walking. I don’t think this experience is about the destination, it is about the adventure itself. You’ve heard the saying “1/2 the fun is getting there.” I’ve never understood that phrase but I’m trying to. I am at peace out here walking on the water. I feel very close to God.
Let me share a time with you when I got out of the boat & walked on water. Zac’s story. Mark & I had been parents for 2 ½ years & we decided (with much prodding from me) that we were ready to adopt another child. Mark agreed as long as we could adopt a boy & we wanted a baby this time. We talked to DFS & had them place us on the adoption waiting list. We knew that it could be a long wait, especially since we were asking for a baby boy. At the very same time that we were having our names added to the waiting list, a baby boy named Zakaria was born in Oklahoma City. His parents were very young, very immature, unemployed & homeless. The mother had not received prenatal care & had not taken very good care of herself or her unborn baby. She had also used various drugs during the pregnancy. This baby entered the world under dire circumstances. He had to be resuscitated at birth & put on a respirator. A priest was called in on 4 occasions to pray for the baby, but this little boy was a fighter. He began to grow stronger & was able to come off of the respirator. The doctors ran batteries of tests & could find nothing wrong with the baby. The nurses & doctors tried to arrange assistance for the parents, someone to help them find housing & jobs & money for food & baby necessities. But the parents refused the help. And at the end of the week the hospital had no choice but to release the baby to the parents. For 2 months the parents struggled with jobs, money, physical & emotional abuse, taking care of a newborn. The mother ran from her husband & ended up in a shelter for abused women in Independence, Missouri. The baby was taken from her & placed in protective custody due to neglect. One July afternoon, I received a call from DFS asking me to take in a 2 ½ month old baby boy who needed a foster home. I explained to the caseworker that I would have to call my husband & discuss it w/him & then one of us would get back w/her. I remember calling Mark at work & telling him the news. I was excited, scared, anxious & uncertain. The only thing we knew for sure was that this 2 month old baby boy needed a home immediately. We didn’t know the background on this baby. We didn’t know why he was being placed in a foster home. We didn’t know much. The caseworker had made it sound like the baby would probably be returned to his mother’s custody w/in 10 days but nothing would be decided until the court hearing on that 10th day. And we knew we had to make a decision quickly. If we weren’t going to take the baby then the caseworker needed to continue making calls until she found someone that would take the baby. Mark & I prayed & felt God wanted us to give this baby a home, our home. So, Mark called the caseworker & told her that we would be foster parents for the baby. He also told her that when the time came for the baby to be adopted we were to be at the top of the list for the adoption. The caseworker was taken aback by that comment. She explained to my husband that this was temporary custody & that the baby would probably go back to the mother in 10 days. Mark said he understood what she was saying but he felt God had different plans for that baby. The next day, the caseworker brought Zac to our home & he has been a part of our family ever since. Over the next year there were several court hearings and lots of paperwork but we were finally able to adopt Zacharia & make him an official part of our family. We learned a lot about the parents & Zac’s rough beginning over the course of that year. Today, I look at this healthy & happy boy & I am so thankful that Mark & I were able to step out of that boat & walk on water that day in July of 2002 & agree to take Zac into our home. We didn’t let the anchors of fear or uncertainties keep us in the boat.
If you’re going to walk on water, you have to get out of the boat. And I have to tell you the water is fine, so step out of the boat & come on in!
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